|
| today's intake {sucked}:
petit dejeuner one apple80; one multivitamin thing5
dejeuner three cookies600ish?; french fries with ketchupeurgh, 800ish?
diner clam chowder420; saltines450? eww
&& i didn't purge at all today....
i did get some exercise, though. not enough, but some.
monday i get my blood tested-- a therapist is worried that i'm not getting enough electrolytes or whatever.
ugh. | | |
| I'm back.
Long story short:
My mother got married and we moved across the country.
I get fat but don't notice.
Then I do notice, and the bulimia creeps its way back in.
The last doctor I went to measured me and said I was around 5'3, which was a surprise as I was sure I was at least 5'4.
So,
Height: 5'3
CW: 140
GW1: 135
UGW: 110.
High weight was 149. Low weight at current height was 135.
I'm seeing multiple therapists for bulimia, but it won't go away.
Nothing fits the way it used to.
I miss you all.
And I'm back. | | |
| I know I haven't posted in a while... And that's because I had to take a step back.. Examine things... Look, I know to most of you girls out there, EDs don't seem a bit harmful unless you're like, 60 pounds or whatever. But they are. My weight never dropped drastically, I know, but it tore me up on the inside. ALL I thought about was food. I was soooo unhappy but I didn't realize it until it was over. Now I wish I could take it all back. My friends and their parents found out about my problem and assumed I was a bad influence. I have to earn their trust back and it's hard. What suddenly changed my mind? I went out to eat. At a 5 star resteraunt. Had Herb and Truffle Roasted Chicken. And I realized that if you eat healthy, you really can enjoy food and lose weight at the same time.
What really makes me sad is that 99% of you look in the mirror and see a distorted image. To the outside world, you aren't fat. You're healthy, or for some of you, underweight. Maybe you're starving for a boy. I tried that. But really, boys like curves. They like a feminine figure, not a stick. I know that most of you won't listen to this and that's ok, because at some point all of you will have to face the truth: Starving isn't the answer.
I love you all. Really, I do.
-Vickie | | |
| B:
S:
L:
S:
D:
Great.. Just great.. I'm banned from the kitchen by mommy dearest. Because I didn't clean it well enough. She hasn't even noticed I don't USE the fucking KITCHEN. Well whatever, now I don't have a choice. If I go in there again she's promised to beat my ass. It's almost comical the way I had to run away from her so she couldn't beat me without entering the kitchen. Hm.
It's the last day before winter break. It's a HALF DAY a freakin FREE DAY the guy i like was ALMOST going to say yes and now i never get to hear it for myself as she's made me stay freakin home so i can clean the kitchen.....
If you are what you eat I want to be nothing. | | |
| B: none
S: none
L: none
S: none
D: sugar-free jello- 10cals
T: 10cals
Excercise: none :( too sick
Soo since I have a free trial of Xanga Premium, I figured i mite as well take advantage of it.. So for the next 19 days my CW is in the cute little custom module to your left. :)
Anyways, I got food poisoning yesterday and today.. It's been miserable. I haven't been eating, but of course as soon as I do i get sick. :( O well, it hurts too much to eat so my mom isn't trying to convince me to.
I forgot what it's like to puke unintentionally. It's such a different feeling. Huh.
IMPORTANT: Crunches and sit-ups don't burn fat. Unless you do them for three hours straight... Cardio is what burns fat, so it's important to do both if you want a nice, smooth stomach. :) | | |
|
